Are you your own worst enemy? Are you hyper-critical about yourself, your work?

How to begin to become your own best friend, accept compliments and begin to flourish...

I have a critical voice. Sometimes a nagging one. Sometimes a seriously negative one. Do you? Do you wish you could quiet that voice?

Gaining more control over how you talk to yourself can impact your emotional resiliency. It can help you stay free of triggering the stress response. And not only will you begin to have more positive self-talk, you will also improve your relationships with others.

I like three-step methods. So here is one for you to try:

Step 1. Analyze the voices in your head. See if you can become more aware of how you are speaking to yourself. What pronouns do you use? “I?” “You?” Some people even use “we” as if there are two or more people living inside their heads! Note that as you begin to pay more attention to these voices, that pretty much everyone has a variety of voices in their heads that change in tone, negativity, severity, so don’t be alarmed! I was at first. I really wasn’t aware of how much of my day I was living with my critical voice, especially command-form you.

Also, see if you notice whether or not you accept compliments graciously. Do you tend to deflect them? I sure used to. Mostly because of that inner critic.

Step 2. Decide which voices you like, and which you want to start to turn down. My mentor, Robert G. Allen, encouraged me to put a volume knob on my head and start to turn the voice down, then off. I created a tool I call “flip the switch.” And in my video today, I share using slogans to help you start to turn around your thoughts. Create some slogans for yourself. For example, if you start to say, “I can’t do this…” see if you can switch it to, “I can do this!”

Step 3. Practice switching up the negative critical voice with your slogans, or with empowering questions that start with. “How can I…” or “What can I…” You can ask yourself how your best friend would talk to you right now, and start using phrases to become your own best friend.

In my video, I share about the “I” in the West Michigan Mental Health Foundation’s Be NICE slogan. “I” stands for Invite. Invite yourself to have a conversation with someone who seems in need. Click here to see the video explaining this. 

Wishing you a wonderful, Pressure-Free day!

Elle

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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